J.O.Y

I’ve got a joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Down in my heart, down in my heart

I’ve got a joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay.

And I’m so happy, so very happy
I got a love of JESUS in my heart
And I’m so happy, so very happy
I got a love of JESUS in my heart

I’ve got the love of JESUS down in my heart
Down in my heart, Down in my heart
I’ve got the love of JESUS down in my heart..
Down in my heart to stay..

I’ve got a peace that passes understanding
Down in my heart, Down in my heart! Down in my heart!
I’ve got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay.

*I remember singing this song as a little girl at Sunday school.  I remember that "Joy" I felt signing it, meaning every word. I have loved Jesus for as long as I can remember.  He has been "down in my heart" all these years, even though there have been times that I haven't necessarily reached out to him.

*I have been reading A.LOT lately.  All kinds of books about all kinds of subjects. I am gleaning so much from so many of the authors, all of them moms just like me that love the Lord and strive to live a Godly life. And just like me, they are all human and often fall short.  The amazing thing is though that God never takes back His grace and He is oh, so willing to share His mercy.

*An underlying theme in some of the books that I have been reading is about J.O.Y.   To find joy in all things.  The way to do this is to keep Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last.  I have to say that I am amazed at the changes that take place in my heart when I do this.  This is also hard for me to do because I can be a selfish and self centered person.  And even though I think I will always struggle with those traits at varying degrees, I also know that they can be changed and that my heart can be softened even further.  My heart has come a long way, but has even further to go.   Today, I am choosing to live with J.O.Y in my life.


*I also want Trent and our children to know that I find complete joy in being his wife and their mother.  There is no greater job for me, no where I would rather be.  Everyday I say prayers of thanksgiving to God for the family I have been blessed with.  My heart often fills full to the point of overflowing when I think of how much I am in love with my husband and how dear our children are to me.  But how often do my dear sweet ones know those true feelings, and not because I have told them 1,000 times, but because they feel them and SEE them in my actions?

*Something else I am taking away from my list of good reads is to keep a gentle spirit and a quiet voice.  I am really trying to not get frustrated with the kids and raise my voice or ask them 10 times to do something...which only makes me more frustrated. I have started to correct their behavior right away and do so in a loving but firm way.  I have stopped yelling requests from a different room only to not be "heard".  I have also started to praise them  more and encourage them more, trying to see all the good things that they do and give my expectations to the Lord.  When asking them to complete a task, I am now showing them how to do it and then letting them do it while I observe them and then offering further instruction if needed.   Seems pretty basic, simple common sense methods, but sometimes I really need things spelled out for me.

I have been really trying to keep my voice low and come to the children from a place of complete love and patience.  (As I write this during our quiet time, Tommy just pushed the limits and ending up head butting me in the mouth, a bloody fat lip is the result.  I can honestly say that I am trying to do these things, but sometimes, like 3 minutes ago, my first impulse is to react.  )  But even though I am still prone to not react from a gentle, loving place, there are more times of late that I do react in a positive way.  Within a few days of trying on my new gentle voice Charlie told me 2 times that I was being so "kind" to him.  Both boys have also been much better with their listening and I don't get frustrated with them as much.  

*There is so much joy in my life and I want those that I love dearly to see that joy on a daily basis.  I am encouraged to know that I don't have to be "perfect" in this quest, that there are other moms out there just like me who are trying to raise Godly children and live in a Godly marriage.  I am also excited to know that the flaws and character defects that I have held on to for so long can be changed.  All I need to do is continue to give my life to God, He will do the rest.

Some of the scripture that I have been encouraged by lately:

The Holy Spirit-he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid.   John 15:26-27

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world  John 16:33

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.  Matthew 6:21

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking and you will find.  Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds.  And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.  Matthew 7:7-8

This is my favorite.  Every day I find joy in the life the God has provided but I am still a sinner, imperfect, fearful, selfish.  If I were made perfect I would not need to seek the mercy and grace of the Lord.  I truly believe that it is through my struggles and moments of doubt that my relationship with God deepens and becomes stronger. 

My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.  2 Corinthians 12:8