Mother's Day 2011

 For Mother's Day we went to Great Gram's house in NY.  It was the first time that Grams got to meet Miss Penny.  They were so cute together and I could tell that it meant a lot to Grams that we were there.  It meant a lot to us too!

Meeting each other for the first time.

Love this picture!

Love this one even more!!

Trent's mom was in town and we got to spend the day with her too.  It was nice to all be together and she made a delicious meal for all of us to enjoy.  The bread pudding was yummy!! 

Even seemed to be on their best behavior, even cousin Tom.  Tommy, who is usually afraid of cousin Tom because he is a rough around the edges kind of guy, said on the way home that he loves cousin Tom when he is grumpy and when he is happy.  What a cute kid!

First family picture.

 Daddy had the boys decorate a coffee mug for me.  It is so sweet.  They each drew a picture or wrote something on it.  I love it!  The boys made me cards and Trent bought me the most beautiful pink roses.  They are gorgeous and a week later they are still gracing our dining room table!

Tommy loves his colors!!

Even Daddy helped

Charlie's part of the mug, it says "I love Mom"

The thing about Mother's Day or any holiday for that matter is not where you are, or what you are doing, it is who you are with.  I was able to spend a great night out with my mom a few days before.  Spending quality time together, laughing, talking, and eating way to much food. It was the best!  And then I got to spend  a lovely day with my mother in law, and Great Grams, Miss Penny and my 3 favorite guys of all time!

Flowers from my love

This year Mother's Day was bittersweet.  I so cherished being with my children and my husband.  They give me such joy, and so much unconditional love that my heart often feels like it is going to burst.  I don't know what I ever did to deserve these 4 beautiful people, but I am beyond grateful that God choose me to mother and love them!  And I so blessed to have a mother who loves me and my family so much.  She is constantly telling me, and Trent, how much she loves him and how proud she is of him.  She is always eager to spend time the children and even though they might run circles around her, she loves being with them.
But as beautiful as the day was, I missed Janie.  Oh, how I never want to stop celebrating the mother that she was and still is to me!  I dearly love her, I always will.

It was  nice day, a beautiful day.  And I know that I am so blessed.

Soccer Spring 2011

Tommy has been anxiously waiting to be able to play sports, any kind of sports.  We have been talking about soccer for months now and his turn to play finally came! 

He was right there, chasing after the ball the whole game!

He ran it all the way down the field!

Got a chance to be goalie.

And even got a pep talk from Daddy on the sideline.

 He was so cute in his little jersey and cleats.  We loved watching him and he had a great time.  With having the boys so close in age, they often do very similar things or things together.  And since Tommy is only 4, he often gets to see Charlie doing fun activities that he might not be old enough to do.  I am so happy for him that he finally gets to do something all by himself and that is just for him!  We would cheer and yell for him and he would get the biggest smile on his face and do his cute little tongue in check "I am so proud of myself" face.   That made getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday all worth it!  

Charlie having some fun with a buddy.  He opted to not play soccer this season but instead wanted to take gymnastic lessons.  Can't wait to see his  moves!

Penny not happy that the soccer game is dipping into her morning nap.

Sentimental

Penny 6 months in her bassinet

The first night at home, Penny slept next to our bed in her bassinet.  Her first hand-me-down from her older brother Thomas.  I remember looking at her every breath, just thanking God for yet again another little miracle. For 5 months she would peacefully rest next to us.  Trent and I would fall asleep listening to her sweet baby sounds.  It was such a good feeling for her to be so close to us.

Charlie sharing a sentimental moment with Mommy and Penny

 Each night I would kiss her sweet little fuzzy head as she drifted off to sleep.  I often wake up in the middle of the night and lean over her as she slept, resting my head on the side of her bed.  So many prayers were said in that space.  So much gratitude was poured out there.  I eagerly woke to her coos of hunger and cradled her in my arms.

The view from my spot on the bed

At 4 1/2 months Penny started taking naps in her big girl crib in her room.  By 5 months old she left our room for good.  I knew it was time as we kept waking her up when we would go to bed for the night.  We all are sleeping better in our own spaces, but I do miss waking up to this sweet face each morning.

I took these pictures the other day when I decided it was time to put the bassinet away.  It has been sitting empty next to our bed for over 6 weeks.  It might sound silly but it took me that long to be ok with taking it down. When I was taking the pictures and explaining to Charlie why we needed to take the bed down, he even got sentimental.  I said "Charlie, baby is growing up so fast", and he said to me "I know Mama, she is getting too big".

All these little milestones that Penny is reaching are so exciting and yet they pull at my heartstrings.  It makes me sad that my baby is growing up so quickly.  I just wish that time would slow down a bit.  I want to hold onto each of these moments and cherish even the small things, like a final rest in a sweet little bassinet.

Two Peas in a Pod

These two can't get enough of each other.

Those eyes, those little mouths.  

Like two peas in a pod.

I pray you guys always love each other the way you do today.

TEETH!!

2 perfectly pearly white baby teeth

Protected

Don't mess with this guy....

He has some serious guns......

And he takes his job as protector........

VERY seriously!

But seriously! 

How does a child who does not own a single toy gun 

and 

who is encouraged to NOT play with guns,

turn EVERYTHING into a gun?!!!!

At least we are WELL protected!

This little Piggie.....

I just love these little piggies. 

Praying for Healing

Jane and I at Penny's baby shower.  A week before she died.

We went to church today, even though the thought of dragging all the children through the rainy, wet mess was less then motivating.

During the musical worship segment, my favorite, I prayed for healing.  The song ended and the stand in Pastor said we were going to do something different today for prayer.  He asked for those that had a need to stay standing and for others to come and lay their hands on them and pray for them.

At first I was a embarrassed, what would Trent think, would I be the only one standing?

I tried convincing myself that my "need" wasn't that big of a deal and I should just sit down.

But hadn't I just asked for healing?

 I stayed standing and several ladies came to my side.  One asked if there was something she could pray for.

The only words that I could get out were

"for anxiety over my step moms death"

I held Penny close to my chest and just prayed be healed of the overwhelming anxiety that often floods my body.  For the moments of late when the fear just gripes my chest and the panic sets in. I felt the presence of God in the warmth of their hands.

I have dealt with this demon before and I know how to defeat it.

Jane died and 3 weeks later Penny was born.  I was in shock over her death and then had to and wanted to go into mommy mode.  Maybe this is wrong to say or think , but I didn't want to miss those first sweet moments with Penny, I didn't want them to be clouded by my sadness.

I have focused on the positive and tried to see the blessings in her passing.  But I am just now beginning to really grieve and it is coming in the form of panic attacks.

So, I prayed for healing and God answered.

I miss her. I really miss her.

As Trent told me, if he wants to be sad, then he is sad.  If he wants to be angry, then he is angry.  If he wants to be filled with joy, then he is filled with joy.  

The pastor said that God can handle our questions, our doubt, our saddness.

I think I will let Him.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” - Deuteronomy 31:8

Eggshellland 2011

The boys enjoying their tasty treat, Penny not impressed.

Sign, Cross, Characters from the movie UP

The balloons and house from UP

Hot air balloons

Tommy covered in Spider Man ice cream

Every year right before Easter we make our way over to Eggshellland.  The same family has been emptying, painting and making a fabulous display out of real eggs for something like 40+ years. It is amazing and fun, free activity to do with the kids.

And this year the day before Easter, when we went, was actually warm enough to wear shorts and eat ice cream! The next day it was cold and rainy, but we will take what we can get!

6 months

 

Sweet baby girl is 6 months old.  Truthfully, it makes me a bit sad.  Ok, it makes me a lot sad.  I want to stop time or at least slow it down a bit, but I can't.  So, I'll just try to enjoy and cherish each and every moment with this sweet  babe.  And take a 1,000 pictures ;)

What we love about you sweet Penelope Jane at six months is:

*You are still tickled pink each and every time I come and get you out of your crib.  You flash me that ear to ear smile, wrinkle up your nose, and kick your feet.  Melt.my.heart.
*You have 2 precious, little white pearly teeth (SLOWLY) making their debut.  I can no longer call you "toothless".  I know, silly little nickname I have always called all our babies during their "toothless" grin stage.
*You are still an eating champ!  You nurse at least 6 times day/night, if not more.  At 4 months I tried giving you solids.  You really were not interested.  At five and a half months I tried again.  This time you were mildly interested and by 6 months you are eating 3 small meals of fruits and veggies a day.  (However, Dr. C just reduced you down to 2 small meals a day and an extra nursing to try and get you to sleep longer at night)

*You roll all over the place.  Gone are the days of leaving you resting on Daddy and Mommy's bed.  You love to roll, but get very frustrated when you get stuck against the side of your bed at night.
*You love, LOVE, love your brothers!  They do this cute little "Penny Dance" with you and you just love it.  They are so sweet with you and always want to hold you, play with you, change your diaper (Tommy) and feed you.  You can't get enough of them!
*You are in.love with Daddy.  You follow him with your eyes wherever he goes.  You are so content in his arms and you get so excited when he comes home at night.
*You usually wake up 2 times to eat during the night.  Sometimes 3 but that is rare at this point.  I love sitting with you in the wee morning hours and know that very soon this time will be over and I will miss it dearly.
*A bit of separation anxiety has set in and you are weary of large crowds.
*You have started to reach for me when someone else is holding you and I love.it!!!

Your sweet little teeth

*Your favorite toys are your bunny lovie that Charlie named Hop-a-Long and a small purple Easter rabbit that Nana gave  you.  Still not a binki lover at all.
*Sleeping solely in your crib now for both naps (9am and 1pm) and bed time :(  Your little bassinet is still by our bed though, because your Mom is silly sentimental like that.
*You weight 19lbs and are wearing a size 9-12 months clothing..
*You are the sweetest girl ever.  Seriously, you are!

We can't believe that you are already 6 months old!!  Time is flying by and we are loving it!