Perfect Bliss

This morning I woke up to a small boy standing next to our bed. He was bending down as close as he could to my face, binki in mouth, he tried to whisper (the boy did NOT come with a volume control button!!), but try he did.  "Mama, is it twime to go to Wicoles (Nicole's). I wanna put on my costume.  Can I wear the mask AND the cape?"  It was 5:30am.

By 6:30am both boys were up and I strategically placed them on opposite ends of the couch with cups full of milk and a fruit bar.  I figured it would buy us another thirty minutes of sleep, as long as little sister kept on snoozing.

8:15am came with the hustle and bustle of book bags, coats and school shoes.  One last check to make sure the costume was in the bag where I said it would be and that the treats were ready to go.  Three carseats buckled, Daddy at the wheel, coffee in hand and we were off.

The air was cold, frost on the car windshield.  The sun was peeking out from behind a handful of clouds and the trees sparkled in jewel tones.  It was beautiful and I wished out loud that everyday could be like this.

Trent and Tommy spent most of the day on search of a last minute STAR WARS costume for Daddy.  After a few attempts they came home empty handed. But with a little imagination and a few yards of fabric we had a cape that would make any Emperor proud!

After a quick trip to Wicoles :) for Tommy to show off is Darth Vader costume, we were off to the Halloween parade at Charlie's school.  I don't know who was more excited, me or the kids!  Penny was a good sport and let us squeeze her into the cupcake costume that I had picked out for her a few weeks back.  Seems our little cupcake has had a growth spurt since :)

How fun it was to watch all the little kids come parading out of the school and around the park.  Charlie looked so proud when he saw us.  He immediately started posing and acting like the real Luke Sky Walker.  Light sabers weren't allowed at school, but that didn't keep Charlie from acting as if.  He was adorable!  We were so happy for him.

After our Halloween fun for the day it was time for party planning. While Penny napped I set to work making tasty treats for Penny's birthday party and putting on the last minute touches for our not so scary Halloween party.   When she awoke from her slumber she joined me in the kitchen while we finished up.  Daddy helped put the eyes on our ghosts and whipped up that last batch of cupcakes.  There is something about being in the kitchen with my family, especially with Trent.  I love it.

After a long day I started to feel my energy drop so I headed upstairs for a quick rest.  I laid there snuggled in between our flannel sheets, my head resting on Trent's pillow.  Downstairs I could hear Trent preparing dinner for the boys.   Tommy fussed that he had mustard on his hand, Trent got a wipe to clean him up and spoke sweetly to Penny from across the room.  Charlie's laughter filled the house, some show had him going.  My heart was full.

I gave Penny her bottle and snuggled her close.  Her hair is so soft and fuzzy against my check.  She reached up and patted my face then grasped my hand with her fingers.  When she was done she buried her face in my neck and gave me a hug, something new for her.  She then proceeded to "zerbert" my neck and blow raspberries.  A new trick and we both laughed.  She is the sweetest girl.

The boys needed second and third warnings.  Tommy held my hand and tried to keep sleep from his eyes.  I rubbed noses with him and he smiled underneath the bink.  I know he is too old, but I don't care.  He has one left and then these sweet last bits of baby will be gone.  I am going to hold onto them for as long as I can.  He quickly drifted off to sleep.

Trent carried in dinner.  Our Friday night usual, Chipotle.  After a few bites a small voice came from upstairs "Mama, I can't sleep.  Dada?"  I snuggled with Charlie for a few minutes and listened to him as he spoke about what costumes his friend wore, a video they watched about needs and wants, and HOW excited he was the Ben H. was coming to the party tomorrow.  I rubbed his head and settled him down a bit.

And now I sit with my honey on the couch.  He is watching another horror Halloween flick, and I am taking the opportunity to jot down the memories of a perfectly blissful day.

Today I choose Joy, it was an easy choice.
*written on Friday, October 28th

Apples, Apples, Apples Everywhere

I knew that Tommy's preschool was taking a trip to the apple farm's fun fest a few weeks back. So, I wanted to do some apple activities with him to tie into his trip.

As a family we made our annual trek out to the apple orchard.  We picked about 18lbs of apples and made apple sauce...yum!

Tommy made the lower case letter "a" for apple.  The boy loves anything that has to do with cutting and gluing!  This was a great project to keep him busy while big brother was doing homework.

Both boys also made a fun apple poem book.  This was so fun to make with them.

The cover

Eat an apple, plant the seeds

Save the core, and grow some more.

 The poem is supose to go Eat an apple, save the core, plant the seeds and grow some more.  I just photographed the pictures in the wrong sequence...just keeping it real people :)

And Tommy made an accordion apple picture at school.  He not only colored all the apples, but also cut them out in accordion style.  I think he did a great job.

Top 10 Things You Need To Know About Charlie

One of Charlie's homework assignments.

10. I love school

9. I love my cat.

8. I love trains.

7. I love orange.

6. I love numbers.

5. I love my sistu.

4.I love LEGO.

3. I love STAR WARS.

2. I luve Mom.

1. I love my famley.

This is pretty much our boy to a tee.  There are a few things I know we could add, like his love for Jesus, his obsession with taking things apart, his curiosity with science and learning new things, his passion for all things silly, and the comradery with his brother.  He is such a sweet boy and I just love the things that he wrote down about himself.

Grateful

Tonight I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the life that I live, bumps, mountains, valleys and all.  Life can be difficult, more then once I have been thrown a curve ball.  And each time I have fallen to my knees and reached out to my Lord and Savior for guidance, love and help.  I have often stumbled but I have never fallen so deep that God could not pick me up.

There have been times when I felt alone, scared, and uncertain of what the future would hold.  There is no promise of a tomorrow and that can be frightening at times.  However, I find great comfort is knowing that there is a promise of eternal life with Jesus, if I only believe.  And believe I do, with all my heart, with every fiber of my being.  There is nothing or no one that could make me believe otherwise.

To know a God that is all loving, full of mercy and grace.  To have that intimate relationship with Him and know that no matter how lonely I feel, how scared I get, that He is always with me.  He never leaves me, not for a second.  He is all powerful, mighty and majestic.  He is sweet and loving, comforting and caring. 

During my moments of weakness I often think of God our father.  What would my Dad here on Earth do if I was hurting, in pain? He would comfort me, probably give me a hug, bring me a milkshake :) and tell me that he loved me.  I know that our Heavenly Father would do the same and on an even great level.  I find so much comfort knowing this, it makes choosing happiness even in the valleys or climbing the mountains of life just a bit easier.

I feel so blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father.  I am grateful for the people that he has put in my life.  My husband, the man who has taken care of me, comforted me, gently rubbed my head and calmed my fears.  The man who has literally put everything on hold to help me get well.  He has shown his love for me and our family, time and time again through his actions.  Our family is stronger because of Trent.  Our family is happy and loving and kind and good, because of his example and love.

I often pray for Trent as the leader of our family.  What an incredible responsibility to hold.  And yet, he leads our family with such ease and confidence.  I know the experiences of the last few weeks have made him an even greater leader.  He has had to do things that he had never done before, make difficult decisions, and be brave and strong when I am sure he felt weak and alone.  But God has been right beside him, leading him. 

I feel as if our family has been protected, literally covered by God's grace these last few weeks.  My heart is full of gratitude tonight for my life, for my husband, our three sweet healthy children, our family and friends that have reached out to us in our time of need.  The daily phone calls checking in, emails, cards, flowers, dinners, babysitting, rides, and most importantly, prayers.  There have been so many people loving on our family, it has been amazing.

I thank God for all things. 

Life if good.

HaLLoWeeN of ThE pAsT

Besides Christmas, Halloween is one of my FAVORITE holidays. I have always loved it, but now with three little ones it is even SO much more fun.  We spend months, literally, agonizing, changing our minds and then creating most of our costumes.  This year, Daddy and I are even dressing up since the boys have only begged us for two years now to do so! I LOVE Fall and all the fun activities to do around this time of year, I LOVE the cool crisp weather and changing of leaves, I even love the rain and wind.  The colors are fabulous, the food is outstanding and there is just fun to be made at every corner!! I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

I started a tradition last year of pulling our pictures of Halloween past, the kids in their costumes, at the pumpkin patch etc, and decorating with them around the house. It is so fun to see how the kids have changed and what they were "into" that year, or what cutesie costume I got away with putting them in!

Bobafet and Yoda, 2005

Charlie the little Lion, 2006

Charlie, 2006

Charlie as Thomas the Train and Tommy the Great Pumpkin, 2007

Tommy the black kitty and Charlie the orange kitty, Charlie picked out the costumes and Nie Nie made them, 2008

Tyler as Percy, Charlie as the Space Train, Andrew as Thomas and Tommy as a Knight, 2009

Charlie came up with the idea of the Space Train and Mommy made it for him, 2009

Charlie as a Robot, awesome costume that Daddy made and Tommy as a Skeleton, I was induced to have Penny after we went trick or treating this year, 2010

Some of these pictures were taken years before I started keeping this journal, so I thought it would be fun to include them now.  Plus, who can resist a precious kitty cat or pumpkin with striped legs?!
So much fun!!!

Mulberry Corners Pumpkin Patch 2011, A family tradition

Daredevil big brother

following right behind, can't be undone

Precious babies!

Penny LOVED playing on the hay

Some of these pictures are from Trent's phone and came across so small and blurry.  But they still show how much fun we had at the pumpkin patch.

We go almost every year to Mulberry Corners Pumpkin Patch.  These next few pictures are from years in the past.  It is fun to see how the kids have changed and how with each new year there has been another addition.

Charlie October 2006

Tommy October 2007

Penny, October 2011

Random thoughts on Charlie: Fall 2011

While eating Sunday brunch, crispy bacon in hand, Charlie spouts out loud "I never knew a pig could be so dirty and taste so good!" ....has to be the quote of the month!

Charlie is doing so well in school.  Each day he comes home and proudly reports "No card flipping today Mama!", their method of discipline at school.  Heck, if I knew that keeping my kids in line was as simple as flipping a card from green, to yellow or red, I would of made up this card flipping thing myself! 

From the time he gets home to the time he closes his eyes at night we get snippets of the happenings of the day.  Out of no where he will tell me about his reading group and how he got to sit next to his "favorite" friend Ben H.  or how Mrs.G got all grumpy because her smart board wasn't working.  Bedtime is usually when he tells me the important things, like how he is afraid that a little girl told on him to a teacher at recess but that he didn't do anything wrong.  He is scared he will get in trouble and I assure him that if he has good behavior and does the right thing that all will be ok. 

I miss him terribly, sometimes it pulls at my heart strings.  I still crave to have him here with me, teaching him.  But I also know that he is thriving at school and is really happy.  He is also really trying to be a good example and I hear about how he often will help someone or go out of his way to be a good friend.  What more can a Mama want, right?!

He eagerly does his homework and can't wait to play with his brother afterwards.  Whether they are playing LEGO Star Wars on the Wii or building LEGOS in the basement, I see more and more how their friendship is being cemented.  I also see the almost sad look on Tommy's face when Charlie declares that he has a favorite friend at school.  But we are quick to remind them that they are best friends, and always will be.  Even Charlie pipes in that Tom is his bestest friend. 

Charlie is so sweet I love his big hugs each morning and every afternoon.  I love that he still wants me to sing his night night kitty song to him before bed every evening and how he snuggles up to my hand, holding onto it tightly.  He is growing up so quickly, but there is still such an innocence to him that I just love and cherish.

Love you Charlie Bear!

Tommy's First Field Trip to the Apple Farm

 Tommy's preschool went on their first field trip a few weeks ago.  He was SO excited and proud to be such a big boy!  He was so cute and when he wasn't climbing up one of the dozen or so tractors that he could test drive, he stuck pretty close to me.

 We have been to the apple farm fun fest before as a family, but that was 2 years ago and Tommy didn't remember all the fun.  There was so much to do and he went from each activity, mingling with some of his friends, happy to drive the tractors by himself :)

 My little farmer boy.  I think one of his favorite places in on a tractor, with his Grandpa of course. 

 Even Penny came along for the fun.  And fun we had! It was a beautiful day and I really enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Penny.  Tommy was so sweet and was missing Charlie.  So, when we stopped at the little apple store before leaving, he picked out an orange tractor lollipop for his Big Bro.  So...sweet!

In Sickness and in Health

I think that there must be many times in a marriage when you look at your spouse and you truly know that they have your back.  That they love you, flaws, illnesses, quirks and all.  And it is in the safety, the comfort of that love that you are able to grow strong again, to heal.

The vows we made to each other on that hot July day, are not just a group of words, a pretty sentence.  They are real, they have meaning and are to be lived.  I have witnessed in our marriage how when one is weak, the other one is strong and helps pick up the slack.  But never before has there been a time in our marriage when not only was one weak, but one was  not able to participate in the day to day basics of life.  Not until two  weeks ago.

Postpartum depression/anxiety isn't fun.  In fact it is rather painful, mentally and physically.  It takes its toll on not just the individual but the family as a whole.  I am getting better everyday but it is a process.

I am thankful for a husband who has graciously and lovingly, without complaint,  taken care of me and our children during these last few difficult weeks.  He is my partner, my best friend, greatest fan, hero and forever love.

I love you honey Trent, now and forever!

Tender Mercies

 When Charlie went off to first grade, one of the things that I worried about was the relationship between the boys.  They are a a little over two years a part and for the most part have done everything together, and that is the way they like it.  Yes, one minute they can be throwing each other down on the floor or trying to decapitate each other with their fierce pillow fights.  But I think that is how they show each other their "love" if you will.  Because the other will be the first to stand up to a rude friend it he doesn't allow all brothers to play in their game, and they run to each other's rescue over big tumbles and scrapes. 

 There are tender moments too between brothers.  Whether they are snuggled up watching a show together, loving on their sister together or playing their favorite Lego Star Wars Wii game.  These two love to spend time together.  So, my worries of if these two would remain best friends was proven to not be a worry at all when on the second day of school Charlie came bounding in the house with two new library books in hand.  A Clifford Kitten book for himself and a Clifford "mimi" fire truck book for his brother.  Charlie went on to tell me how he had been thinking of  his brother and how he just knew that Tommy would love a "mimi" book.

Tender mercies....Thank you God!